Each of us comes from a family of origin, some arrangement of individuals that took care of us as children and helped us to develop into who we are today. Of course, everyone’s family of origin looks vastly different, which is why the definition of family is so difficult to narrow down. Many people were raised by their biological parents, and many were not. Regardless of what one’s family structure look like, each of our families are characterized by different dynamics, or ways of operating. According to ncfr.org, internal dynamics of families are “an understanding of family strengths and weaknesses and how family members relate to each other.”
Understanding how families operate is critical to understanding why the individual is the way he or she is. We do not develop in isolation. This is especially true when we consider how each of our families have shaped and molded us. It is especially important when thinking about internal family dynamics to recognize Systems Theory and its validity in explaining how families are made up of the sum of their parts. Systems Theory sees the family as a baby mobile; touch one part of the mobile and the rest of it moves accordingly. Families are always trying to achieve and maintain homeostasis, which is the explanation behind many behaviors (functional and dysfunctional). We must have a clear understanding of how families choose to do things in order to be effective human service professionals.
Understanding how families operate is critical to understanding why the individual is the way he or she is. We do not develop in isolation. This is especially true when we consider how each of our families have shaped and molded us. It is especially important when thinking about internal family dynamics to recognize Systems Theory and its validity in explaining how families are made up of the sum of their parts. Systems Theory sees the family as a baby mobile; touch one part of the mobile and the rest of it moves accordingly. Families are always trying to achieve and maintain homeostasis, which is the explanation behind many behaviors (functional and dysfunctional). We must have a clear understanding of how families choose to do things in order to be effective human service professionals.
Academic Preparation
- The Family
- Family Relationships and Gender Roles
- Introduction to Marriage and Family Therapy
Paper on family dynamics from FSHS 550 - The Family
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Work/Volunteer Experience
- Undergraduate Research Assistant
- Personal experience
The wedding party of one of my best friends' weddings at the rehearsal dinner, the night before the big day.
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My first cousin - who is a year younger than me - on her wedding day.
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Reflection
For many years, I was confused and frustrated about the internal dynamics of my own family. From my perspective, things were just fine, and then the unthinkable happened: divorce. My parents dragged me to therapy for months. One day I realized how invaluable it was, and even more, I realized that therapy interested me on a personal level. Not only was it emotionally helpful, but I was learning. My therapist helped me to understand how my family operated and why the dysfunction was present, as well as how to deal with it from my own perspective. She helped me understand where I ended and where my other family members began. This was my introduction to family dynamics, and I was hooked.
From then on, I realized how passionate I was about empowering families to be healthy. I had to learn more. I wanted to know how to prevent divorce from happening to other parents and kids. I wanted to know how to help kids understand that no, it is not fair, and you should not have to carry the consequences of your parents’ decision, but it is out of your control. Here is how to be healthy and move forward and actually heal. So I enrolled in Family Studies and Human Services at Kansas State, and I have never looked back.
Since my time at K-State, I have learned more than I can imagine about how families work. I am reminded every day why I joined this program when I hear stories of healing and redemption from therapists and the families and individuals they serve. Because of what I have learned, I believe the way we relate to each other within our family systems is of the utmost importance. If the family system – or any individuals within it – are neglected or abused in any sense for any amount of time, the entire family is going to be affected on countless levels. This is why education on how to foster healthy family relationships on the front end of family development is crucial.
My favorite class on this subject has been The Family. In this course, we applied theory to every area of family life, and honestly discussed the ways that family dynamics have shifted in accordance with changing society. Not all of these changes were positive, but I appreciated our frank discussions on the challenges today’s families face and how different they are from the challenges of fifty or seventy years ago. We were exposed to a well-rounded perspective about family life and why it is so important that individuals have some sort of healthy support system as they develop.
Something else that has broadened my perspective on internal family dynamics is observing other people in the context of their family of origin. Everyone comes from a different family background. Even if some peoples’ families look similar from the outside, they are all extremely different from a participant’s perspective. It is incredible how many different family situations are possible. Today’s high rate of divorce and remarriage leads to blended families who are forced to adjust to completely new ways of operating and relating. Many of my close friends are part of blended families. Some of them are even closer with their stepfamilies than with parts of their biological extended families. These dynamics are fascinating to watch. One of my closest friends loves to talk about how she feels that her parents’ divorce was redeemed by the way her stepfamily invited she and her sister in and made them feel welcome from the get-go.
One thing I am sure that I am lacking in knowledge about is how to care for individuals who feel as though they are lacking a real “family.” I have always had a heart for children in the foster system, because that is one “family” system that is more dysfunctional than any other. I want to better understand how to help people who never knew a caring parent or faithful caregiver. I understand how trauma affects individuals, but I want to grow more in my understanding of how simply lacking a stable family system would affect someone.
From then on, I realized how passionate I was about empowering families to be healthy. I had to learn more. I wanted to know how to prevent divorce from happening to other parents and kids. I wanted to know how to help kids understand that no, it is not fair, and you should not have to carry the consequences of your parents’ decision, but it is out of your control. Here is how to be healthy and move forward and actually heal. So I enrolled in Family Studies and Human Services at Kansas State, and I have never looked back.
Since my time at K-State, I have learned more than I can imagine about how families work. I am reminded every day why I joined this program when I hear stories of healing and redemption from therapists and the families and individuals they serve. Because of what I have learned, I believe the way we relate to each other within our family systems is of the utmost importance. If the family system – or any individuals within it – are neglected or abused in any sense for any amount of time, the entire family is going to be affected on countless levels. This is why education on how to foster healthy family relationships on the front end of family development is crucial.
My favorite class on this subject has been The Family. In this course, we applied theory to every area of family life, and honestly discussed the ways that family dynamics have shifted in accordance with changing society. Not all of these changes were positive, but I appreciated our frank discussions on the challenges today’s families face and how different they are from the challenges of fifty or seventy years ago. We were exposed to a well-rounded perspective about family life and why it is so important that individuals have some sort of healthy support system as they develop.
Something else that has broadened my perspective on internal family dynamics is observing other people in the context of their family of origin. Everyone comes from a different family background. Even if some peoples’ families look similar from the outside, they are all extremely different from a participant’s perspective. It is incredible how many different family situations are possible. Today’s high rate of divorce and remarriage leads to blended families who are forced to adjust to completely new ways of operating and relating. Many of my close friends are part of blended families. Some of them are even closer with their stepfamilies than with parts of their biological extended families. These dynamics are fascinating to watch. One of my closest friends loves to talk about how she feels that her parents’ divorce was redeemed by the way her stepfamily invited she and her sister in and made them feel welcome from the get-go.
One thing I am sure that I am lacking in knowledge about is how to care for individuals who feel as though they are lacking a real “family.” I have always had a heart for children in the foster system, because that is one “family” system that is more dysfunctional than any other. I want to better understand how to help people who never knew a caring parent or faithful caregiver. I understand how trauma affects individuals, but I want to grow more in my understanding of how simply lacking a stable family system would affect someone.